As a local-from-the-suburbs, a jaunt into D.C. doesn’t quite count as a real vacation for us, but it certainly does require compromise sometimes! This ongoing cherry blossom saga is the first thing I always think of when it comes to vacation compromises.
The upcoming Cherry Blossom Festival is the unofficial start to tourist season in the District, and if you’re coming for the festival or just to tour the capital later in the season, welcome to D.C.! I’ve had the pleasure of spending most of my life in the suburbs of the city, and I try to take advantage of all the benefits such an opportunity presents. I have many wonderful memories touring the city as a child and now have the great pleasure to show the many sites to our sons.
Are there blossoms yet?
If you live anywhere in the D.C. metro region, there are a plethora of annual events about which you inevitably glean knowledge, even if you’ve never been. The Cherry Blossom Festival is one such event. I recall visiting the Tidal Basin to see the blossoms as a child with my parents on numerous occasions. It’s a quintessentially D.C. thing to do. There is much speculation in the weeks leading up to it regarding the date of peak blossoms. Equally common are conversations a la “I’m going X date; how about you?”
I’ve been married 11 years now. We’ve been in the D.C. suburbs for approximately 9 of those years. Do you think we’ve ever been? That’s a nope with a capital N-O-P-E! I think my husband would rather do anything else besides going downtown for peak blossoms. I’m pretty sure I bring it up every year we’re in town, but he always wholeheartedly declines. This is why all my photos are from cold, rainy, non-blossomy days. The last time we went was a freezing day in March, probably two weeks before peak blossoms. The time before that we went during a rain shower after the blossoms had been washed away! Sadness! I’m not bitter at all, right? Though he did give me permission to blame him entirely for this glaring hole in my D.C. experiences.
How to compromise?
Vacation compromises are inevitable on some or all trips. Sometimes it’s a little thing that’s no big deal. Sometimes, it’s not. I’m guessing you’ll easily be able to figure out the “when” – you know, when you’re in complete disagreement with something on your itinerary – so I’m jumping ahead to the “how.”
Our compromises, regarding this at least, have thus far always resulted in deferring to his very strong preference not to go. But for other times, we have to take a step back personally. Consider what this element of your vacation means to the other person. I admit, this is hard and I’m often a selfish person. But as the planner in our family, I so want my husband and anyone else along to really enjoy the trip, not just plan things for myself. On your own adventures, maybe there’s a special significance in doing something, or perhaps there’s a strong preference against doing it. You might not even know; sometimes you just have to broach the subject and ask.
But honestly, when in question, defer. I know that’s hard, but think of how exciting it will be to see your traveling partner enjoy what they are so looking forward to doing. That in itself is usually worth the opportunity cost in giving up my own plan. But even if not, maybe you’ll “win” the choice on the next trip, or you’ll just be all the more appreciated for your thoughtfulness. And once you’ve decided, either way, let it go. Don’t let it hang over your vacation that one of you didn’t get their way.
Make the most of it, enjoy your travels. And most especially, don’t forget to dream big and travel well.
